October 2013 Short Story of the Month

The Man in the Moon

How in the hell did I get here? Seriously, this is not right. This is- No. This is not right. It’s not home. Of course it’s not home. Look, see that? That’s Earth, over there. If you are from earth, and you can see the planet in its spherical form, then no. You are not home. In fact, you are very, very, far from home. God! I hate this. Maybe I took some things for granted back home. Glow-in-the-dark stuff, K-Mart, pirates, cheese… But this, this is nothing. There is literally nothing here. It’s all rock and crater, not even any aliens or nothing, I thought it was supposed to be cheese. Where’s my cheese? Probably going to starve to death. I don’t see any food. If there were aliens, I could ask them what they eat. No aliens, no cheese. Ugh, I’m floating again, hate when that happens. Look at earth down there, taunting me. It looks so green, and blue. Mostly blue. Is this even possible? Seriously, how did I get here? No answers, of course. I’m the only one around for a few million miles from the looks of it. Why don’t I see an American flag? Probably in the wrong spot. I bet this is a pretty big place. Maybe I should explore, no, why bother? No matter where I go, I see the same thing. Gray, crater filled rock. That, and the stars. And Earth. Is that-no. Is that the Great Wall of China? I’m getting delusional again, better calm down. On second thought, go for it. Delusions have got to be better than this. Maybe there will be cheese in this one. That last one was a little weird, all those monkeys and stuff. Don’t need to go there again. I’m all alone, a tragic hero. Actually, I think one is only a hero if one has something to fight. I landed, done with my daily space floatation. Nothing to fight but myself. I wish that I’d at least had a pencil in my pocket when I did whatever it was that I did to get here, or something, so that I could draw. Hold on, I’m- I’m here. Everyone else is down there on the actual planet. Aliens, am I right? Doesn’t that make them aliens. I’m here, a native- sort of. If there is on intelligent life here, I could found this place as my own world. Yeah, that would be sweet. I’d have to act fast though, I’ll probably die pretty soon. It’s a miracle I’ve survived this long. Oh my God. Something, yes, something’s coming. Satellite. NASA, I think. Either says NASA or FOX, can’t tell from here. Better say hi. I’m waving. I am waving to the Earth satellite! Hello! Get me out of here! Please! Send help! I don’t care who. Send astronauts, firemen, the A-Team… Anyone! It’s gone, passed overhead. Stupid satellite. I guess I’m meant to be alone up here. No A-Team, no cheese, not K-Mart, no pirates. Just me. Just one lone man on the moon.