Short Story: All’s Fair

The air stank of dough boys and cow shit. Scott had to admit, he loved it. It was dirty, a lot of walking and the people were a nightmare, but he had loved the fair since he was a little kid and he was happy to see that at twenty-five, his excitement hadn’t waned a bit. Everything about it, nostalgic as it no doubt was, got his blood pumping. The food. The rides. The way they all sounded like they were one loud creak away from spinning out of control and killing everyone on board. You just don’t get that kind of thrill from a major theme park. Jenny, on the other hand, clearly wasn’t feeling it. 

They’d been together for six months and as much as they had eased into things and as well as they liked to think they knew each other, this was still a time where they’d find the occasional surprise. Usually, Scott figured, that was a good thing. It’s always good to be able to be surprised by your partner, to feel like there’s more to learn about them, a curveball just when you think you’ve got them all figured out. Except for this. Except for here. Except for tonight, when she looked absolutely miserable. Scott felt guilty for dragging her along to a place like this without making it clear just how invested he was in the idea. The fair was minutes away from closing anyway and almost everyone was gone. They should leave, he knew. But that inner child was louder than ever, all the same. He felt the question coming and knew, given everything, that he shouldn’t ask it. But then it just slipped out.

“Come on,” said Scott. “Let’s go on one more ride.”

Jenny raised her eyebrow. Not quite at the point of glaring at him, but she wanted to let him know that she wasn’t that far off. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Oh, come on.” 

Jenny gestured to the almost completely deserted fair surrounding them. “Look around, Scott. Take in the scenery. Everyone’s leaving.”

“It’s still open for another ten minutes.”

“Everyone’s. Leaving.”

“Not everyone,” said Scott, trying to put on his best, most charming smile. “We’re still here, right?”

The smile faded almost instantly. Scott saw very clearly that he wasn’t wearing her down. If anything, she looked like she wanted to slap that smile right off his face. 

Instead, Scott slumped his shoulders, looking like a kicked puppy. That almost infuriated her more. “You’re not having fun anymore?” he said.

“Having fun? Are you kidding me? My legs ache. We’ve been walking all day. I’m dusty.”

“Carnival atmosphere,” Scott said. “You can’t get that just anywhere, you know.”

“I have cow shit between my toes. I’m not loving the atmosphere.”

“It’s outdoors. It’s good for you, you know? It’s nature. You should breathe it in.”

Jenny glared at him. “Breathe in the cow shit?”

“You know what I mean.” He leaned back against a fry stand, one that, despite the ten remaining minutes, had already decided to close down. 

Jenny continued to give him that look. “I really do not,” she said. “Outdoors? It’s not Yellowstone. It’s the fucking fair. Maybe I’ll get my thrills walking in wild forest cow shit, but this? Not doing it for me.” 

Scott nodded, conceding. “Okay, fair point.”

“So…” Jenny shrugged, waiting for him to fill in the blanks.

“One last ride?”

“I was going to say, ‘So we’re leaving, right?’”

“Yeah, I basically said the same thing, only later and after one last ride.” 

Jenny finally, against every ounce of judgment in her body, gave in. “This better be worth it.” 

Scott only nodded as he glanced around for something good. Something that would be memorable. “How about that?” he said, pointing at something. 

Jenny followed the direction of his finger to an old, worn down funhouse attraction. There were peeling paintings of everything from Dracula to Freddy Krueger on the side. The thing looked like it hadn’t been touched in decades. 

She punched his arm.

“Ow!”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she said.

“What?”

Jenny just shot him a look. “Do you even look both ways when crossing the street, or do you just trust cars not to hit you?”

“Really? You don’t want to do it?”

“You really want to?”

“Yeah,” Scott said. “I kind of do.”

A moment. Jenny sighed. “Okay, fine. We can go in.” 

Scott’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Yes, after you take me home to write my will.”

Scott nodded, putting his hands in his pockets. There was a chill in the air. He hadn’t felt it only moments ago, but it was there now and it was strong. “Okay. Hint taken.”

“Thank you,” Jenny said.

“We’re still going to go on one last ride, though.”

“Fine. Let’s get going.” 

They started walking again. Scott turned to glance back at the haunted house as they went. It sat so still, so quiet. He felt stupid for even bringing it up. He turned his eyes forward. There were a few other options around them. A couple kiddie rides like the Dragon Coaster and the Crazy Bus. The Tilt-a-Whirl was a classic, but it looked like it was just starting to close down. He looked up. “How about the Ferris Wheel?” he suggested. “I mean, come on. It’s a classic.”

Jenny didn’t look entirely sold. “I guess…”

“You can see the whole town from up there.”

That did even less to sell her. “Why would I want to be reminded of town?”

“Okay, yeah. You got me there.”

She turned and pointed at something else. “See, there we go. The Gravitron. That’s fun, right?”

Scott was, amazingly, silent.

She pressed it again. “Right?”

“Mm-hm,” he said under his breath. “Yeah. Sure.”

Jenny rolled her eyes. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he said. “If you want to go on the Gravitron, we can totally go on the Gravitron.” 

Now, starting to get it, Jenny couldn’t help but smile. “Oh my God, are you scared of the Gravitron?”

“No, no, I didn’t say I was scared…”

This, it turned out, was worth staying until closing. She was loving this. She had to know. “Did you throw up on it once? Maybe you don’t want to upset that delicate tummy?”

“You’ve seen the crap I’ve packed this stomach full of tonight,” he said. “It’s a valid concern.”

“My God.”

“And I didn’t throw up.”

“Sure.”

“I didn’t. I fell on my head.”

She froze. “I’m sorry, you what?”

Scott sighed. This was embarrassing. There was no point in doing anything to hide his embarrassment, so he simply let it wash over him. “Yeah…” he almost sounded like a deflating balloon as he said it.

“You know you don’t go upside down on that ride, right?”

“Okay, technically, yes, you’re right?”

Jenny smiled. “And yet?”

“Well,” Scott stammered. “You know how kids are. You stick to the wall and you want to try stuff, so you turn yourself upside down.” 

“You didn’t realize that the ride was going to stop eventually?”

“I overshot the amount of time that I had.”

“And you just fell?”

“Onto hard, hard steel floor.” 

“Wow,” she said in awe.

“Yeah.”

“My boyfriend probably has actual, physical brain damage.”

“Okay, I don’t.”

“How can you be sure?”

“We can do the Gravitron if you want to.”

She shook her head and took him by the hand. “Not after that story,” she said. “We’re going on the Ferris Wheel, where you’ll be safe.”

She took him back over to the line, which was dwindling, but still easily the longest one remaining. Scott rolled his eyes. “I’m so glad I told you that story.” 

“Oh, me too.” 

“I was being sarcastic,” he said and was about to say something else when he just froze, looking off in a totally different direction. 

Jenny noticed, but couldn’t quite trace his gaze. “What is it?” she asked.

“Who is that girl?”

Jenny raised her eyebrows. “Boy, that’s just what every girl longs to hear.”

“No, I mean, I don’t know. I feel like I know her.”

“Who?”

Scott discreetly tried to point to a girl standing a few feet to the right of the line, largely in shadow. As if almost intentionally staying out of the light. 

Jenny shrugged. “I have no idea. But it’s pretty creepy to keep gawking at her like that.”

“I swear I feel like I know her.”

“Well, she looks about our age. Did you go to high school with her?”

Scott shrugged. “Maaaybe…” He took another glance and shook his head. “Nope. My class was small, I remember everybody. She’s not one of them.” 

He glanced over again.

The girl looked up and made eye contact.

Scott darted his eyes away as quickly as possible. “Shit.”

“What?”

“She saw us.”

Jenny leaned her whole body into her shrug. “So?!”

“I think she’s coming over here now. Shit. Shit. Shit.”

It was true, Jenny saw. The girl was walking directly toward them now.

The line started to move without them and they barely noticed. Jenny couldn’t help but sigh. “Weird, huh? It’s like the whole situation could have been avoided if you weren’t being such an enormous creep.”

The girl stepped into the carnival lights. Pale skin, dark hair, brown eyes that in the right light could look almost black. She glanced between the two of them. “Uh, hi there,” she said.

Scott could barely look her in the eye. “Hi. Yes. Hello.”

“Is there a problem?” the girl asked.

“No, not at all,” Scott said.

“Okay, cool. So why were you staring at me?”

“Believe me,” said Jenny, “that’s what I’d like to know.”

Scott took a deep breath and met the girl’s gaze. “I’m not trying to be creepy, I swear,” he said. “You just look really familiar.” 

“Do I?” The girl, unseen by either of them, started to reach toward her back pocket. 

“You didn’t go to Eastward High, right?”

The girl shook her head. “Can’t say that I did.”

Scott turned to Jenny. “See, I told you.”

Jenny plastered a big, fake smile across her face. “Yep. Congratulations. You win. Would you like your Man Trophy now or would you accept home delivery?”

The girl smiled and gestured to Jenny. “I like her.”

Scott wasn’t paying any attention. He was, to the frustration of both girls, clearly fixated on this now. So he kept going. “Are you… wait…”

The girl froze. He didn’t see it.

“You’re not somebody famous, are you?”

The girl reached into her back pocket a little further.

Jenny just looked at Scott like he was the world’s biggest idiot. “Why would somebody famous be here, Scott?”

“I don’t know,” the girl said. “Am I?”

Scott kept going. “Are you…”

The girl gripped something in her pocket with her hidden hand. 

Scott thought on it for another second. “Are you Christina Ricci?”

“What?” Jenny said.

The girl looked equally baffled. “What? No!”

Scott looked away, sheepishly. “Okay, sorry.”

“My forehead is not that big,” the girl said, then went silent for a second. “My forehead is not that big, right?”

“Sorry,” Scott said. “I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just that I swear that you look familiar.”

The girl relaxed her grip on her pocket and sighed, shaking her head. “Whatever. Thank you both so, so much for all of this.” 

“We’re sorry for dragging you over here for whatever this is,” Jenny said. She glanced at Scott. “Believe me, he’s sorry.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Scott echoed. “We won’t bother you again. I…”

He looked down, distracted by a ding on his phone. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out. There was a notification on Netflix that read, “New Episodes Available: Making a Murderess: The Crimes of Julie Harper.” 

Scott’s eyes widened.

Finally, it clicked. 

Julie Harper, the mass murderer. Julie Harper, the serial killer. Julie Harper, who had slaughtered several of her high school classmates, escaped a rehabilitation facility, slaughtered half a Catholic school and disappeared. And that was just in the season he’d already seen. Scott had heard she was dead.

She clearly was not. 

His eyes widened as he read the notification. She noticed. 

“What’s that?” the girl, Julie, asked.

Scott looked up, very alarmed but trying—and failing—to keep his poker face. “Huh?” he said blankly.

“The phone, what was that?”

“Just… just my friend. Dumb group text.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Scott lied. “Of course.”

Jenny looked at him, a little confused. “I didn’t even know you were in any kind of group chat.”

“You know,” Scott stammered. “It’s late. They’re closing up. I think it’s best we just head on home.”

Jenny’s gaze drove into him. “Really? After ten minutes of wearing me down on rides you just decide you’ve done enough?”

“I really think we should go,” he pleaded with her, but she didn’t hear it.

Julie pointed upward. “Line on the Ferris Wheel’s dwindling, but it’s there.” She looked back at both of them. “I bet you can still make it. Let me walk you over.”

“That would be nice,” Jenny said.

“I really think we should go,” Scott said again.

Julie tilted her head to look at him. “What’s the hurry?”

“No hurry.”

“Can I see your phone?”

Jenny stepped forward. “Hey, that’s a little invasive, don’t you think?” 

Scott was already starting to tug on her arm, but she barely felt it. “Jenny, let’s go,” he said.

“Sure you don’t want to ride the Ferris Wheel?” Julie asked again. “Hell of a view from up there.” She looked directly at Scott with a twinkle in her eye. “Long way down.”

“Excuse me?” Jenny said.

Scott tugged at her arm again. “Jenny…”

Julie shrugged. “Of course, we could just skip to the end,” she said, finally pulling the knife from her back pocket and displaying it proudly in the moon light. 

Scott pulled at his girlfriend again. “Jenny, run!”

Finally, she did.

She started moving at a sprint. Scott had to rush to keep up with her. Jenny glanced back as she started running for her life. She screamed as loud as she could, “Somebody please help me!”

Julie tightened the grip on her knife and looked down in frustration. “Ah, man,” she sighed. “Don’t do that.”

She started sprinting after them. 

Julie caught up to Scott in no time, but pushed him down to the ground, out of her way. She had found a bigger problem to focus on right now.

Jenny was making good progress, though. She could see the exit, she could see people. She was so close to help she could taste it. And then, just like that, she saw the ground and tasted nothing but dirt and the blood in her mouth as she tripped over a rock. 

She knew before turning around that the other girl was already standing over her. “Please,” Jenny stammered as she turned to look up into her murderer’s eyes. “Who are you?”

Julie shrugged. “You’re a little slower on the uptake than your boyfriend, which is honestly saying something. I thought you would have figured it out by now.” She paused to savor the next words, letting the revelation come as a death warrant. “I’m Julie.”

Jenny just stared at her confused.

Julie sighed. “Julie Harper.”

Another second, then she could see the lightbulb going off in Jenny’s head. “Julie Harper the… the serial killer?”

Julie stared at her, eyes wide. She waved the knife in her face. “What the fuck one do you think?”

“Listen,” Jenny started stammering. “You don’t have to do this. If you want money, if you… if you… you can… please…”

Julie clamped a hand over her mouth. The girl squealed underneath it. In a flash, Julie stabbed her in the throat and let her bleed out. The blood came in spurts, pulsating. Julie stepped out of its way. She’d been doing this a long time and had gotten pretty good and predicting the splatter. 

She watched the girl struggle, kick, and finally die, then looked down at her for another second after it was all over before turning away. Julie got to her feet. She looked around. The fair was dark and empty now. No sign of almost anyone. 

No sign of Scott, either. Julie turned her eyes skyward as she started to walk back into the heart of the carnival. “Oh, fuck me,” she muttered.

##

Scott hugged the corner of the Tilt-a-Whirl until his knuckles were white and his hands were nearly bleeding. The chipped paint was peeling off in his grip and his fingers clutched nothing but rust. He didn’t care. All he could focus on was finding someone who could help him. But there was no one around. 

He couldn’t even find a single carnival attendant.

“Please,” he wheezed, out of breath. “Anyone.”

He glanced around again, looking for somewhere to hide. Scott tripped and nearly fell into the Gravitron as he walked. It was still zooming at full speed. He caught himself a second before making contact and stared at it in bewilderment. It could have taken his face off. “Fuck,” he breathed. 

The sound of footsteps behind him. 

Scott stepped back to crouch behind the Tilt-a-Whirl again, trying to stay out of sight and keep quiet. He kept a look out, trying to see who was walking by. Sure enough, it was her. 

It was Julie.

Scott clamped a hand over his mouth, trying to keep completely silent. He watched on. She disappeared behind a ride. He kept looking, but didn’t see her again. A few more seconds of quiet. Finally, he felt something like relief. He’d lost her. He waited for another moment, then  took a cautious step backward. 

A hand grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out from behind the ride. Julie spun him around to look him in the eye. 

“No!”

She barely heard it. “Sorry I threw you to the ground like that, that was real rude of me,” Julie said with a smirk, noticing the gash on his forehead.

“No… please…”

“Oh, hey, by the way…” Julie said, grabbing him by the back of the head and driving him face-first into the speeding Gravitron, grinding his face away as she did. “How’s your head?”

His whole body convulsed, but her grip was strong. She thought about the human skull and how amazing it was as Scott’s face flew in every direction in a spray of ground meat. Hit it from one angle, it’s a rock. Hit it from another, it’s an egg shell. You never could quite predict which it would be until you got there. Tonight, it was an egg shell. 

Scott’s nearly headless body slumped to the ground. 

Julie stepped back and looked down, studying her handiwork for a second before turning her eyes to herself. She was absolutely covered in it. “Well,” she said with a sigh, “That’s going to be a joy to wash off.” 

Without another word she walked away from the fair grounds, stepping between a broken link in the rusted fence and disappearing into the darkness of the trees, the two mangled bodies littered across the fair ground like half eaten dough boys the only evidence she had ever even been there at all.